Tuesday, February 4, 2014

If you give a writer an idea . . .

If you give a writer an idea,

she’s going to want a pen and paper.

When you give her the pen and paper,

she’ll probably ask for a critique group.

When she’s done a lot of critiques, she’ll ask for a workshop or conference.

Then she’ll want to go to even more workshops, just to make sure she has a great manuscript.

When she has a perfect manuscript, she might notice she doesn’t have an agent, so she’ll ask to meet 
with lots of agents.

When she’s got an agent, she’ll want an editor and publisher.

Before she lands a publishing house, she’ll start to take antacids and worry about ever getting published.

She might get carried away and think about self-publishing, but only if she was a NYT Bestselling author to begin with.

Eventually, she will get her manuscript accepted, possibly by one of the Big Six!

When her book is in revisions, she’ll probably want an office.

You’ll have to fix up a little room for her, include a blanket and a pillow.

She’ll crawl in, 

make herself busy,

maybe even a little crazy.

So you’ll ask what you can do,

you might suggest she get some help,

you might even ask if she should avoid Facebook and Twitter.

When you are allowed back in her office,

you’ll be so excited, you‘ll ask about the release date.

She’ll ask you to leave again.

She’ll worry about ever getting done. But she does. 

After the book has finally been released,

she’ll want good reviews. As in really, really good reviews.

If she gets those good reviews,

she’ll want an award.

If she gets a prestigious award,

she’ll want to go to a bookstore to do an autographing,

which means she’ll need a pen.

She’ll hold the pen, sit back and look at it,

looking at the pen will remind her that she doesn’t have a piece of paper.

So . . .

she’ll ask for some paper.

And chances are, if she has a pen and asks for paper, 

she’ll want another id—ah, who are we kidding, she’s got so many ideas now you’ll never get her back.


**all due credit to Numeroff's, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie for the inspiration :)

FYI: Yes, I tend to have way too much fun when I start writing just to write.

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